So I've been busy, and busy thinking.

Busy, busy, busy! I spent a few days away from the horses learning to sail, and I'm now ASA certified to sail boats of about 20 feet! That's right, I now have the TWO most expensive hobbies in the world. Anyway, I really enjoyed myself and am going again on Thursday...I want to do as much as I can before school starts up again and the weather gets (really) bad.

I've also been going to the barn and building my confidence on the ground by grooming some of the older horses who don't get much attention from their owners. I am feeling really good, in general, and have been riding and grooming and tacking up. I am so incredibly sore every time I ride haha but I always can't wait to get back on.

My first victim! My non-horsie boyfriend's favorite!

Old itchy mare! She was the most grateful, and now nickers at me when she sees me.

Yesterday I went to visit Sid. He was looking good, even better than last week...he is much steadier in the bridle and less wiggly in his canter transitions. The discipline is so good for him; it's not that he's bad, but 5 days a week is certainly not too much for him. Last winter I could consistently do 4 days, and he lives in a very big pasture so I thought that was enough to keep him occupied, but now I'm thinking I'll have to step it up this year. The problem with that? I'm a 4th year pre-med. "Free time" does not exist for me. My classes are even harder, and my schedule is such that I'll be at school from 8:30- 4 four days a week. Riding is something that needs to be a happy, nonstressful escape from homework, tests, MCAT study etc.

Right now I'm worrying that accident or not, Sid is not the right horse for my lifestyle at this point. I'ts not like my schedule will be letting up any time soon, in fact I'll only get busier for the next 4/5 years at the least. I'm worried that I need to trade down, so to speak, to something I can hop on and just ride 3 days a week. Logically I can think this through and say that it makes sense, but emotionally it is totally paralyzing. He's my baby, we have such big goals, he's my dream show horse, and I KNOW I'll regret selling him. But that doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do. It is literally making me sick thinking about selling him, and I haven't made any decisions. I've committed to leaving him with the trainer through September so I have time to get back on him, and think about it, and decide to sell, keep, or just leave him in the holding pattern he's in now.

I'm heartbroken. What do you think? Are there any grad school students out there who manage to ride too? 

But how can I say no to this face???